Beyond Politics 2
Yep, this is a continuation of my post of a couple of days ago.
I was reading some more on Feminists for Life and several other sites, some pro-life, some pro-choice, and some medical, and I really began to become angry. Angry because with all this shouting on both sides on the abortion debate, the ones who are really affected first hand by this, the women and her baby, are forgotten. It’s like if people are talking over your head about what’s best for you without asking you. Did you ever have that happen to you? By your parents, perhaps, or by teachers? Not a good feeling, is it? So I’m asking the question. What about the woman? What about her? What about the baby?
First, I’m asking what about the woman? What about her? Like I said in my last post, in several states, veterinary clinics are better regulated than abortion clinics. They are not regulated like other clinics and hospitals that perform other types of outpatient surgeries. And the ones who should be shouting the hardest for better regualtions for the clinics, the pro-choice women and the doctors, are the ones who are vehemently opposed to better regulations. They say that more regulations could impede a woman’s right to choose. But what about the woman who goes to an abortion clinic? Does she want a substandard facility where she could get hurt or killed? Does she want to get an infection or become infertile, which is not uncommon after an abortion? Of course not! And if you are wondering why a pro-life feminist would be concerned that the clinics where a woman would go to get an abortion are medically safe facilities, it’s because I am pro-life and I am a feminist. These women and girls that go there are not heartless. They are real people who are faced with a real crisis pregnancy, and for whatever reason, feel they have to abort. And they are not sluts. Some are frightened teen-agers who got pregnant one of the first times they had sex, and either they don’t want their parents to know, or maybe even their parents talked them into an abortion. Some are with an abusive boyfriend or husband who didn’t feel like they were ready for parenthood and told them to abort – or else. Others are afraid to tell their abusive husband or boyfriend they are pregnant. Some are in a stable relationship or married, but because of financial reasons, or they haven’t finished school, they do not see how they can have a baby. Some are married, and wanted to get pregnant, but, tragically, they have found out that a pregnancy will put their own lives in danger. Women get abortions for all kinds of reasons, and the facilities that do it should have the same regulations as other outpatient surgery centers.
And the baby? What about the baby? And can it be that a person can be both for the baby and for the woman at the same time? I believe that a person can.
What’s best for the baby, of course, is that he or she has a chance to live. Advancement in maternal and fetal medicine is, of course, always best for the woman and the baby. Many babies are being saved now instead of aborted because doctors are more confident that they can help a woman with health problems through a high risk pregnancy, and also they are able to deliver a baby at a younger gestational age with a greater chance for survival. And many other causes that help women also help the baby. A lot of women who abort don’t really want to; they just don’t see any other way. So making women aware of social program to help them financially, having battered women’s shelters so women can get away from abusive relationships, not penalizing women on welfare who become pregnant again; all these programs help the baby as well as women.
And societal attitudes toward pregnant single mothers has probably been the thing that has helped both women and babies the most. The sexual revolution was quite awhile ago. Yet, for a long time, pregnancy outside of marriage was something to hide, a problem to abort. In churches, even, women who admitting having an abortion as a teenager was often forgiven, whereas women who were single mothers were more apt to be “on the fringe.” Fortunately, those attitutes have changed, and are changing. Like I said, women who have unintended pregnancies are not sluts; they just happenened to get pregnant.
Beyond Politics
I have been reading a lot of stuff from Feminists for Life recently. Feminists for Life is a feminist – yes, feminist – group against abortion. Abortion is one of the most hot-button political issue of our times. But in hot-button political issues, the fact that it’s about real people tends to get lost. And abortion affects real women and real children; it’s not merely an issue.
Feminists for life makes a case which has, at times, made me cry. They have brought up how the early feminists were often against abortion. How the early feminists were usually for motherhood, and the woman needs to be valued in all of her functions – including that of a mother. And the articles! Some of these are what has made me cry. The women who were dealing with the regret and the guilt after having an abortion – some of it life long. And the women who were killed by abortion. There is more than we think; but the government stopped keeping track in 1987. Did you know that, in this country, there are more laws that regulate veterinary clinics than regulate abortion clinics? That’s crazy! The women and girls that go into these clinics to get surgery are real people. The abortion drug also kills; it causes excessive bleeding, and some women hemmorage. It can also cause an incomplete abortion which can get septic. And the message of Feminists for Life is women deserve better. And we women do. And so many women think that abortion is an easy out, a way to control our bodies, but it’s not. Abortion is not the way to equality. Having equal respect for women as men is a way to equality. Making sure that women can be mothers without losing out on their careers is a way to equality.
I want to tell a story of three girls, Suzanne, Sara, and Elisabeth. All three girls found themselves pregnant at close the same time of their lives. Sara got pregnant two months before graduating from high school, and Suzanne and Elisabeth got pregnant in the first year after graduation. Sara chose to get an abortion. She had some health problems beforehand, cancer, and knew that being pregnant would not be advisable. Even so, she did not tell her mother, and also had some emotional problems. The relationship with her mother, already strained, pretty much ended after her abortion. She moved in with her boyfriend after graduation, but that relationship did not last.
Elisabeth chose to keep her baby. At first, she was thinking of adoption, but once the baby started moving inside of her, she could not do it. Her boyfriend was very emotionally abusive, and tried to get her to give her baby up all the way until two days before her baby was born, but she didn’t do it. Her baby was born sick with pneumonia and a heart valve problem, but the heart valve closed on its own, and the baby was well in only a week after birth. It was difficult for Elisabeth; she had to live with her parents until her baby was almost four, the baby’s father did not support the child, and only had bad things to say to Elisabeth. Her parents and brother gave both her and the child a lot of love, though. And when her child was seven, Elisabeth married and had a second child.
Suzanne’s story was the worst. Suzanne moved in with her boyfriend at just barely nineteen, and her boyfriend immediately talked her into becoming a topless dancer. When Suzanne discovered she was pregnant, she left her boyfriend and went back to her parents. Her parents told her that there was no way that they would help her raise an illegitimate child, that she would have an abortion or starve. So Suzanne had the abortion. A few months later she tried to commit suicide, but a young man saw her with the knife and stopped her. She moved in with that man, and was pregnant again in a few months. She never got over her abortion, though. She moved back in with her parents when her daughter from her 2nd pregnancy was a few months old, but they never gave her the emotional support she needed. At twenty five years old, Suzanne committed suicide in a mental hospital.
I am Elisabeth in the story. Suzanne and Sara were my best friends in high school. When I got the phone call about Suzanne’s death, I looked at my daughter, and realized more than I ever had before, that everything was worth it. And now? Now my daughter is twenty three and has two boys, one’s almost 3 and the other is 17 months. I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter and could not imagine what my life would have been like without her.
